Why Some Stories Stay with Us and Others Don’t (The Science Behind Storytelling)

Understanding the Power of Stories: A Deep Dive into the Psychology That Makes Them Unforgettable

"The human species thinks in metaphors and learns through stories." - Mary Catherine Bateson 

Image via Home Literacy

Just last week, as I reflected on the captivating stories my grandmother used to tell, a question crossed my mind: why do some stories stick with us for a lifetime, while others fade away like whispers? 

What makes certain tales so unforgettable, continuing to shape us long after they’re told?

The answer lies in the science of storytelling. 

From the way our brains sync up with a good narrative (neural coupling) to the dopamine that reinforces emotional highs, oxytocin that deepens connection, and cortisol that locks in suspense, here’s why storytelling leaves such a lasting impact.

1. Neural Coupling

What is neural coupling?

To illustrate, let me share Maria's story.

Maria stood on the edge of the bustling crowd at the annual street fair, feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety. 

As she watched the vibrant colors of the food stalls and heard laughter filling the air, she remembered the last time she had been here.

A day that had changed everything.

Just a year ago, she had stood in that very spot, overwhelmed by the chaos of life.

Her startup was struggling, her confidence was wavering, and she felt invisible among the sea of people.

But then, a chance encounter with a stranger led to a conversation that reignited her passion and gave her the clarity she desperately needed.

In that moment, Maria didn’t just recall her past; she relived it. 

This is the power of neural coupling

When your audience engages with a story, their brains mirror the experience, making them feel as if they’re part of it.

For example, a Coca-Cola ad doesn’t just tell you about the drink—it makes you feel the refreshment of sipping it on a hot day, triggering similar sensations in your mind. 

You can activate neural coupling by crafting a story that your audience can easily relate to, allowing them to feel like they’re experiencing it themselves.

For example

1. "Imagine walking into a meeting, fully prepared, only to realize no one is on the same page—I've been there, and here's what happened next..."

2. "Picture this: You’re juggling deadlines, stressed out, and then something completely unexpected turns your day around."

3. "Have you ever faced a situation where everything seemed to fall apart, but somehow you found a way through?"

4. "Think back to a time when you felt stuck, like no matter what you tried, you couldn’t move forward. That was me, until..."

5. "We’ve all had that moment when we’re at a crossroads—wondering which path to take. Here’s how I made my choice, and what happened after."

These hooks immediately place your audience in the story, helping them visualize the scenario and emotionally connect with the narrative.

2. Dopamine Release

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter often referred to as the "feel-good" hormone.

It plays a vital role in our brain's reward system, triggering feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. 

Dopamine is particularly influential in storytelling, as it reinforces positive experiences and helps us remember impactful moments.

To illustrate the power of dopamine, let me share Sarah's story.

It was the middle of the night, and Sarah sat at her desk, staring blankly at the numbers on her screen. 

Her business was failing, and despite her best efforts, exhaustion weighed heavily on her, and hope was slipping away. 

Just when she thought all was lost, she scrolled through an old file and noticed something.

A tiny error she had overlooked for months.

With a deep breath, she made one small tweak, a last-ditch effort to turn things around.

Within days, her sales began to rise.

What had once been a constant struggle now felt like an unexpected victory, a wave of relief washing over her. 

That single moment of discovery not only saved her business but gave her the breakthrough she needed to thrive.

What just happened?

Sarah’s story, with its emotional peaks and unexpected twists, triggered a powerful release of dopamine in her brain

This surge of dopamine not only gave Sarah a sense of satisfaction; it also engages the audience, allowing them to share in that feeling.

Besides, Dopamine plays a crucial role in focus and memory retention. 

This is why stories with emotional highs, surprises, or resolutions leave such a lasting impact. 

The brain locks onto those highs, making the story memorable.

So, add unexpected moments or uplifting resolutions that captivate your audience in your stories.

For Instance:

1. "Last week, I stumbled upon a strategy that completely changed how I approach this problem…"

2. "I never saw it coming, but a simple tweak made all the difference for one of our clients."

3. "You won't believe how one small change transformed everything for us—and it can do the same for you."

4. "Just recently, I faced a challenge that seemed impossible, but the solution was surprisingly simple."

5. "One conversation with a customer turned our whole approach upside down—here’s what happened next."

These hooks engage the audience by creating curiosity and anticipation.

3. Oxytocin Production

Oxytocin plays a crucial role in storytelling, as it’s known to deepen emotional connections and foster trust. 

In a fascinating experiment by neuroeconomics pioneer Paul Zak, volunteers were shown two versions of a video about a terminally ill boy. 

One version followed a clear narrative arc (story), while the other lacked any emotional depth. 

Blood samples taken before and after viewing the videos revealed a significant increase in oxytocin levels in those who watched the version with a compelling story.

This hormone, often associated with the bonding between a mother and her newborn, is a powerful tool for building emotional ties with your audience. 

When your story triggers oxytocin, it evokes empathy, making your audience feel connected not only to the characters in your story but also to you or your brand. 

This sense of trust and connection is key to influencing behaviors like generosity, loyalty, or even action, such as donations or purchases.

To stimulate oxytocin, your storytelling needs to go beyond surface-level facts and dive into authentic, heartfelt narratives. 

My favorite technique for evoking oxytocin is sharing personal challenges, moments of vulnerability, or stories of transformation/

This will resonate deeply with your audience, making them feel more human and emotionally engaged. 

When they see you or your characters facing struggles or triumphs, they experience the same emotions, creating a bond that transcends the story itself.

For Example

• "I remember the day Sarah walked into my office, overwhelmed with debt and on the verge of losing everything. We sat down, and as she shared her struggles, I knew I had to help. Together, we mapped out a plan, and today, she’s thriving."

• "During our team retreat, we got lost on a hike. What was supposed to be a 2-hour walk turned into a 6-hour adventure! By the end, we were exhausted but couldn’t stop laughing at how we ended up using Google Maps to find our way back.”

•  "A few years ago, I found myself in a difficult place. My business was struggling, and I felt like I had failed both myself and my family. It was a dark period where everything seemed to be falling apart. But then I reached out for help and connected with a mentor who guided me through some hard decisions. Slowly, things began to improve. Today, not only is my business thriving, but I’ve also learned how to manage setbacks better. That experience taught me the power of asking for help and leaning on others when things get tough."
  
  

• "I once worked with a single mother who was overwhelmed with debt and barely making ends meet. She came to me in tears, afraid she wouldn’t be able to provide for her children. Together, we crafted a financial plan that not only helped her pay off her debt but also allowed her to start saving for her kids' future. Seeing the relief on her face when she made her final payment was one of the most rewarding moments of my career. She told me that for the first time in years, she felt hopeful."

• "When I started my freelance career, I was filled with self-doubt. I worried that I wasn’t good enough and constantly questioned my decisions. It wasn’t until I made my first big mistake—taking on more than I could handle and letting a client down—that I realized I needed to change my approach. I apologized, learned from my mistake, and over time, I built a process that helps me stay organized and confident in my work. Now, I help others avoid the same pitfalls I experienced."

More learning

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4. Cortisol Activation: 

“It was the perfect day.

Everything was falling into place for our product launch—months of hard work had led us to this moment. 

The team was ready, the marketing was on point, and we were just 48 hours away from unveiling it all. 

But then, out of nowhere, disaster struck.

A critical system malfunctioned. 

The launch was in jeopardy, and the clock was ticking. 

My heart raced, my mind scrambled for solutions, but with every passing minute, the pressure mounted.

Would we find a way to fix this, or would everything we’d built come crashing down? ”

This kind of high-stakes scenario is a biological trigger.

When we encounter tension or uncertainty, our brain releases cortisol, the stress hormone, which primes us to focus intensely on the problem. 

Whether it’s a suspense-filled thriller or a business challenge that could make or break everything, the spike in cortisol keeps your audience on the edge of their seat, fully engaged. 

When you introduce conflict or tension in your stories, you tap into this primal response, holding your audience’s attention as they eagerly await the outcome.

Here are more examples:

• "Everything was going smoothly—until we hit an unexpected roadblock that nearly derailed the entire project..."

• "I thought I had it all figured out, but then disaster struck, and I had to think fast..."

• "We were just days away from launch when the unthinkable happened—everything was at risk."

• "It seemed like a regular day, but then one wrong decision almost cost us everything."

• "I was seconds away from giving up when a major crisis pushed me to find a last-minute solution."

These hooks introduce conflict or tension, hooking the audience by making them curious about how the story will resolve.

5. Endorphins Release:

Endorphins are the brain’s natural painkillers, often associated with feelings of pleasure and relaxation. 

When a story makes your audience laugh or provides a sense of relief, it triggers the release of endorphins. 

This creates a positive association with your brand or message, making your audience feel good and more likely to remember and engage with your content.

For example, brands like Old Spice use humor in their ads to create a memorable and enjoyable experience. 

The quirky and exaggerated storytelling in their commercials leads to laughter, helping viewers associate positive emotions with the product.

You can activate endorphins by incorporating humor, light-hearted anecdotes, or moments of relief into your story. 

This helps create a lasting connection with your audience through positive emotions.

For example:

• "I was so nervous during my presentation, but halfway through, I realized I had my shirt on inside out! We all had a good laugh, and it broke the tension."

• "After weeks of intense preparation, we finally launched the campaign—only to realize we’d used the wrong hashtag. Talk about a facepalm moment!"

• "We were working around the clock, but then someone suggested ordering pizza, and suddenly, the whole team was energized again. It was the perfect break we needed."

• "One of my clients, Maria, came to me after her business nearly went under. She was heartbroken, but together, we rebuilt her confidence and created a strategy. Now, her business is thriving, and she just expanded to a second location. Her transformation inspired me in ways I never expected."

• "Last year, I met a young entrepreneur named Jacob who had been working tirelessly to get his startup off the ground. His passion was contagious, but he was struggling to balance everything. After hearing his story, we collaborated on a plan that not only saved his business but also gave him back time with his family."

These moments of humor or lightheartedness create a sense of relief, triggering endorphins and leaving your audience feeling good about the story and your brand.

Wrap Up

I hope this guide has helped you understand the incredible impact of storytelling. 

Think of storytelling like planting seeds in a garden. 

With the right care and attention—using neural coupling, dopamine, oxytocin, and more—these seeds grow into strong, lasting memories that stay with your audience long after the story ends.

If you found this guide helpful, I encourage you to share it with others and revisit past editions for more insights. Together, we can continue cultivating the art of storytelling